That dread feeling haunts her.  I can see it in my daughter’s eyes.  Quite, shy, reserved always, she did not want to let on.  But it lays increasing heavy between us, somberly weighted, shading summer days into winter grays, unspoken.

I know she loves him, as do I.  He’s had a bad habit of disappearing now and again.  Usually not for long.  He always comes back to her, to her bed, to her love and care.  And she welcomes him back, no questions asked.  None answered.  I understand this too…

She’s of the age where her whole life seems to have revolved around him one way or another.  I know better, but some things cannot be said.  Instead my heart hurts for her.  My lovely green eyed daughter with the smile that lights the world.   She does not respond to my normal ploys, too distracted.  The press of this upon her I need to lift, so I do.

Suggest we go out for a drive, just chat.  I feel the relief in her eyes and as we drive I say let’s look for him honey, it’s been too long.  She blinks a yes, too full to speak.  We go to the normal haunts and ask, everybody loves “OC”, but they have not seen him lately.  We park and I suggest we walk, through a stretch of woods we know he loves best.  Sometimes she’d find him here, quite, content, just being of earth and sky.  And she’d bring him home…

Today we hold our breath, crushing feelings, I think she knows somehow, something I feel too.  Each turn of path is heart breaking, we tangibly hesitate, afraid to not see, just as afraid to see.  But we do not find him today, OC, Orange Crush, her beautiful Tabby.