Horrific Unnecessary Loss
My daughter’s mother tragically, unexpectedly died. Wailing, keening pain of loss and bitter realizations of the senselessness.
My daughter struggles, and bravely, impressively deals. Funeral arrangements made, decisions being decided. All while fighting off the most immense waves of pain. Poignant moments of “My mother will never see my children” sweep her off her feet. Thoughts of We will never go to Chestnut Hill again” brutalize and dash her to the rocks. She crawls her way out of despair each time. Back into being an adult. My child. Whom I watch, helpless to take any of this pain from. Helpless to do anything to shelter my child. Just a witness to tragedy. At times clinging to her Aunts, Grandmother, Step-mother. Finding comfort in their arms. Then coming back out to deal with whats next.
What a long hard day yesterday was. Burnt out. Just need a hug myself. A place to crawl into for a little while and be safe to feel. And everyone has been great. Many words coming my way from friends new and old. They all help. But sometimes you need Skin not Words. Last night, eyes, burning love across a screen. Holding.
And this morning an unexpected gift. From a Twitter Poet. Words with skin. Please listen. Words follow the “more” but please listen as you read…
Tragedy’s Room by Jessica Kristie
Tragedy’s Room
(by @JessKristie)
Today I want to put skin around my words
Turn sentences into limbs
And reach across the seas
Finding my way to your door
My blankets of consoling will never do this moment justice
History has been broken
A tear in life’s time table
“Why” lingers at the footsteps you watched from birth
Hands by your side that can’t seem to bring enough healing
This time
Trouble feels so beyond
What you can mend
Warmth can roam
Beyond our flesh
Far past aching bone
It will make its way back to this empty room
Where loss and heartbreak now
Claim this room
Bows break future moments
Pausing time
Covering moons
Lingering in our present
Floating in the in-between
But hands do breathe volumes
When crashing into tragedies door
Look now and know
What strength they hold
Your grip
Your reach
Barriers breaking as we speak
((thank you Jessica & everyone else who has sent warmth on words into this room))
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Very deep, very strong, very well written Jessica. Difficult to read and difficult to listen to. ~ I find myself at a loss for words, except with the heart of my condolences.
My friend, I wish I could give you so much more than my words but I am glad you found some comfort in them. Much love to you and your family. ♥
Jessica: I just met Josepf a few days ago on Twitter, yet which one of us, friend or stranger, cannot but respond to his plea for help to reconcile the irreconcilable? Thank you for gifting Josepf your poem, and thus gifting it to me too. There is a lot pain in our world, but—I believe—more love.
Thank you for sharing such compassion and love.
Josepf my friend…
I can not find the words that express how powerful this post is. I wish it were within me to ease the pain you and your child are going through by the simple magic of my words. I can not and there fore can only tell you that my heart is bleeding for you and I am praying for you all.